Up Dates ' R' us

This should be pretty brief.

• Cyber Penis- keeps asking me to call him, I'm a lady sorta, you call me. There are hints of a traditional southern gal left! He keeps asking if I am afraid to let him see me naked. And my response is I don't want to see you naked as I'm not interested in FWB. I already got that shit on call... why take on a new FWB when you don't know their performance record?
• Date Talk- So MC Mr. Napkins, an AMAZING rapping comic, turned down a hosting job on a new Dating Podcast called Date-Talk but still keeps in touch with the producer; the producer called Napkins asking if he could fill some space with an online dating story and he forwarded her to me. Seriously I could run the show with all my online dating stories, ahhh the memories.... So I will keep you updated when it will air.. the show is very cheese while trying to be edgy.
• Personal Hell- So i had to go into a Babies'R'Us to get my dear friend a baby shower gift. I hated every moment of being inside that babies mama/daddy nightmare. I was convinced that I would get pregnant just by being in there. Not to mention the children running about was about to dry me up permanently. While holding the 6 pages of the registry, i started to only purchase the items that were ass or nipple related as i found it funny. Butt paste and nipple covers galore! Shame on me for not planning ahead and ordering everything on line...... Welcome to the world Nugget, Auntie MBandit will have you running a muck in no time

G is for Georgia

Just when I was about to throw in the towel and let "G" stand for Girl, my hot-lanta lova calls. I haven't spoken to my Georgian fling in over a month and wrote him off as a good time. Part of mbandit liked him more than usual. It could be argued it was because I couldn't live physically further away if he tried. We make tentative plans to see each other over the summer, I like these plans because they are full of hope and optimism of things to come. We both pretend that they may actually pan out but know it is very unlikely they will... Kinda like when you fantasize what you will do when you win the lottery, either way its fun.

Here come the Gs

I am clearly moving through the alphabet faster than expected. Fireman date was a snooze fest, boring, boring, boring. Did I mention boring? So since he was lacking on the phone I suggested we play pub trivia for our date on the off chance he was a dud in person as well. The highlight was us coming in 4th for trivia so we do have a brain between the two of us.

Lets run down the basics:
Height- tall
Looks- cute
Extras- job he likes, good family, nice, gentleman
Personality Punch Factor- dud.

I don't mind carrying a conversation but throw me something! I could be asking too much.

I am now taking suggestions for G's. My friend offered to make out with me as long as I didn't fall in love with her or let it change our friendship. I'm too girly for her, and she for me. She asked what kind of girl I would like and I said one that is like a man. Who knows...

I recognize that other shit in my life is unsettled more so than usual and my personal life is the easy one to focus on/ mock

Pfffft

It must be stated that I'm in a funk and I know the source, but at this time these things are out of my control, none the less... Since I've been a bit bandit MIA here are my updates on men and fun ect

• This past weekend I hung out with Magoo and LA pals. Had a blast and realized I am missing a good group of local friends
• GottJibba- online guy- who keeps wanting to talk dirty and invite me over for sex. I keep telling him no I want to date. Basically told him I'm bored with his cyber penis
• Dentist and Drug dealer - am pretty sure I can call when ever
• The cop- surprise surprise we had plans then something came up, twice. He has also used the L-word, on more than one occasion, which concerns me on multiple levels. That could be a whole new post
• OG- Still creepy and business like, is getting the fade
• The FIREMAN- yes bitches I've found and "f" who is terrible to talk to on the phone. Thank goodness I recommended pub trivia for our date

Is is wrong I would rather ride horses than go to Easter dinner?

I won, I won a snuggie!

I actually won something.... a snuggie! And how did MBandit win this amazing prize? Why by winning Dear Greer's Best Bad Date contest! Check out the link, in my opinion I won by a landslide...

In the spirit of my romantic life... here is the poem the drug dealer sent me yesterday! Cheers!

back over this way
isis so wanted to stay
but hadda get paid

now i can not sleep
feeling totally damn beat
time to hit the street

when may you be free
to chill the night next to me
know it sounds cheesy

yours highly,
chinaman