Someone asked my opinion on online dating?

I was recently asked to describe how I felt about online dating and my response is as follows. Online dating and the many sites that are out there, is like the the friend you have that never has their wallet. You like them and are friends but they always let you down, usually in public.

Bandit out.

Nope no kids for me

I help teach little kids how to ride horses on the weekends, insert any standard joke about riding, chaps and horses here, and one of the kids had a fall.. I went to go get the kids mother for moral support and ended up holding a baby. Not a toddler but a 1 month old baby and I had to finish giving it a bottle. This mom clearly had no idea that I had no idea what I was doing. The child and the baby survived but no way can I handle kids. The scariest 15 min of my life...

At least he didnt want to dirty talk...

Since I am dating again, I'm back dabbling in the ever horrible world of online romance; I have had a few correspondences with a guy who was angry over sarcasm. It would NEVER work, besides he is way too sensitive. FYI- his profile said he is "sarcastic and silly." Seriously I cannot figure out why I keep going back for more. Check out this gem below. And yes this was a pic he chose to post of himself. The email chain is outlined below.



Bobpats80-C,mon, I had to say hi to someone who is not only just 1% my enemy, but is drinking in every one of her pictures.

MBandit- OK well... I don't know what to say about the photos but 1% enemy is pretty good. I bet I could have you to 5% in no time

Bobpats80-well, im sure you could, sorry to have bothered you. you sound as friendly as most girls here. take it easy
MBandit- whoa... take it easy killer, just a joke about the 1%. lets start over... Hi how are you?

Bobpats80- Im great. But I do know enough douchebags, i don't have any room for another right now, take care. Man, it's amazing how ugly people get when their personalities are shown.

I think somebody is taking online dating waaay to seriously... It should be mentioned that this was the first time I've been called a douche bag and I kinda like it. I wonder if I should respond to his last message with a link to this post? Bandit out.

Backfired

I think my dating strike has backfired.... as I am completely uninterested in dating all together. I am completely eh about the cop. The drug dealer is leaving town for an undisclosed amount of time, and I blew him off this weekend despite his many attempts to say goodbye. And old guy is still perusing me business style. I secretly am fascinated on how he interacts/dates like everything is a business transaction. His voicemails and emails are so corporate, and when he thinks he is funny it is creepy.... amazing.

So not like myself...

Mechanics

Not the profession... remember I'm still working on E's and F's now that I've decided to date again. You may find the Bandit cruising a local fire station near you.... sizzling

As it can be assumed since I wasn't dating I spent a lot of time, more than usual thinking about sex and dating. Also a rather odd article in Cosmo about penis size had me reminiscing about the dicks in my past...

Now although I consider myself lucky that I have only encountered the following topic a few times I still find it puzzling. Whiskey Dick. Yes it happens and yes I am forgiving but if its the first time we are going there take care, to let it be all it can be. I feel it is irresponsible to get wd the first time you hook up with someone.

Here's my logic... I figure a guy has been playing with his pal frequently since the age of 13 or when ever guys start getting boners. I assume they know themselves pretty well and their own personal mechanics better than I ever will. Hence the reason hand jobs are funny and I don't give them, unless in a movie theatre bc then its like middle school and funny.

What I find confusing is that at some point you know that we are going to play a little slap'n'tickle and at that point you should consider wether or not your pal can handle another drink and still be ready to play later. I also like to assume that I am not the first person you have ever hooked up with, therefor you should have learned in your 21st year where you wd line is. 8 drinks we are on, 9 drinks not so much. Beers yes, liquor maybe in the morning.

Its not a big deal, but when your slapping my ass and stealing kisses in the bar, I don't get that you weren't able to consider events to come.

Next gripe.... no condoms, at your place, 5th date, 2nd sleep over. Always be prepared. It just makes me think you are dirty

FYI the drug dealer is leaving for CA and may not come back

Dating Strike is Ending

Although I am not completely sure that the date-o-nomic down turn is over my dating strike has come to an end. Things in the South are improving so I assume the North is next, like the weather pattern... if not I'll just move.

Besides this Bandit is getting boring.

Hot-lanta, Livin la vida lanta, Oh my lanta

Sorry for the lack of posts but I was in Atlanta for about 5 days, about 2.5 unexpectedly. Here are some helpful facts in case you end up there.

1. If you have time to kill down town here are your three options that don't include drinking until 3am : Coca-Cola Museum, CNN tour, and Aquarium
2. There are homeless people outside of every hotel/bar/restaurant entrance waiting to give you directions or walk you somewhere. Then they violently demand money when you reach your destination. The first night drunk, lost and in the rain I appreciated this service. The fifth night I was unhappy with the swarming.
3. Also sometimes the homeless men give you a pansy out of their back pack and expect payment. Thanks to Tim from Wacker Neuson for buying me the homeless pansy. The first flowers of the year I have received from a guy.
4. They sell pantie hose in the bathroom out of a tampon dispenser at Hooters.
5. David the cater waiter called me princes and followed me around every meal during our company meeting. I always had coffee but was also being chased in front of co-workers and mgmt

On the Date-o-nomic down turn: I think the market conditions are beginning to improve. I met two nice guys one in the airport and the other at a bar... who I'm sure I would date if they lived in the area. However Baltimore and Sacramento does not a dater make... However MBandit did end up coming on my business trip surprisingly...