Friday, September 12, 2008

8 Minute Dates

Here is a bit of humor at my expense. Took Place on 9/9

So some how I went to 8 minute dating last night. And when I say somehow... I organized it for a few of my single friends, who had been complaining lately. After a long summer of the make out bandit running free, I decided to get responsible and start dating. Now of course I have no idea what I want in a relationship or do I plan on having one but dating is better than making out w/ drunk strangers. Anyways the event was down town and it was sooo funny, I highly recommend it as something to do, but bring a friend. I ended up going with two stand up comedian friends, who claim they were "looking for material." (One already complained about the lack of matches)

You can now call me Andrea 400

So here are my dates: I only got 7 instead of 8 b/c of the no shows - Should have been a warning!

Peter! 207- Tall foreign unattractive and boring. A very long eight minutes. However he did tell me about his ex and their vacation to Thailand, the hates the city and the beach. It also should be noted that he wore his name tag on his arm. Where as I wore my on my chest so to make it awkward. No match it was hard for me to care about carrying the conversation.

C 200 - One of the guys I came with..... after scanning the room looking like a winner. However he has been telling a lot of tea bagging jokes. I'm not really into that for an eight minute date.... at least an hour (C200 predicted that M208 would clean up at this b/c he looks good on paper, lives's in Beacon Hill good job ect)

Alex 210- About 5'10 a bit balding, hairy and skinny. He is wore jeans and a button down, normal, however his undershirt is bright green. He lets me know that he is unemployed and lives in Natick. He is easy to talk to, he was doing sales, and will have plenty of time for me. Despite he asked if I was financially secure?! Match!

Scott 209- Writer, small person who brought and old school jean jacket not as a joke. No Match. He did leave with a girl he met...

There was break where the comedians and I ran to the bar for drinks. Then we made fun of the situation probably a little too loud. When the break was over we all put our hands in the middle and did a little go team cheer before starting again. Just what I needed.

Koji 203- Small, Asian, possibly a woman. Unfortunately he was the most interesting and I didn't have to carry the conversation! He's works at Brown Univ. is putting out a movie on how the Vietnam War would have been different if JFK hadn't been shot. And sells real estate in Toronto. The movie is coming out this weekend in NY. I did put him down as a Friend Match

Mike 201- Doctor. No I'm not a gold digger but I am trying to date in alphabetical order these days and it is a natural progression after the banker, cop and comic. He had the best understanding of sarcasm and was the easiest to talk to. Also he laughed when I made an inappropriate emergency room joke, instead of giving me the blank stare. Match.

OK at this point I am tired of carrying all of the conversations and am sad that no one is catching on to my sarcasm first time around and/or ignoring my dirty innuendos. Then all of may dating prayers are answered with David 204...

David 204 - 5'11 pale, light hair, approx 275lbs, khakis, and an orange sherbet colored polo, and a little fem. So he sits down and says lets not ask questions 1 or 2. I guess there "helper" questions if you get stuck, who knew. I said lets not use any of them and get real crazy. His first questions was "If you could have any super power what would it be?" (Jackpot) So I said x ray vision so I could look at private parts all the time. He wanted time continuum powers.... Blank stare... so I let him ramble about that. Next question "What kind of TV to you watch?" I said any bad realty TV show especially the ones on VH1. Screw trying to impress this guy. It turns out he won season 4 of Beauty and the Geek! LLLLOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE! So I asked if the girls is a dumb as they seem, he said yes, but "they aren't dumb they just haven't been trained" MATCH I wonder what he did with the prize money?

M 208 - My other friend I went with, looking more available by the minute.. However we were laughing so loud during our 8 minuets we got dirty looks. (M208 predicted that C200 will sleep with at least two girls from this event)

So over all most of the girls that attend the event were way better than the guys, they were cute and perky and nice. Guys you will clean up. According to the guys here is what they had, the HR girls, Jew bitch/ Philly, deaf girl, weird girl, Holly, Holly's friend. M207 said he pick all the girls for a second date except deaf girl


UPDATE 9/12

None of us have matches other than each other... Lesson learned wait to mock the situation until everyone is gone.

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