Since I've been gone... I can breathe for the first time

Here is the cliff's notes of me being MIA over the Thanksgiving holiday.

On Tuesday I stayed over w/DD played a little slap'n'tickle and found his porn collection. Here is how it went down.
MB- "Hey are you downloading porn?"
DD- "Yea"
MB- "Ooooh, let me see what you got"

Come on you all have seen it and most of you have your own, lets not play dumb here, unless its some schoolgirl fantasy dress up thing. The best part was that he has them organized in folders by hair color.... amazing, I would have it organized by type

Now we watch two of 18yo porns and it was eh, not keepers. However one was really strange where instead of the guy finishing on the girls face, why do you all love this, she takes out a handy black plate and he cums on that. Then the girl wipes it up with her fingers and consumes it that way. SOOO weird. Who keeps dishes handy?

Wednesday- The cop is now relentless. After he stood me up on Sunday I ignored him and his constant texts. "What are you mad at me sexy" Yes it should be obvious by my lack of response. Also standing me up does not make a very good case for us to get back together...
Songbird gives me a ride to the airport and I quickly become mayor of the bar before my flight, what a great way to start the holiday!

Thursday!- Saturday- I made pie and the apple was perfect! The crust was flaky and it didn't fall when cut! Watch tons of football, Go Cowboys, Go BC Eagles and Hook 'em Horns. Hey BCS Texas beat OU on neutral territory 45-35, do the math. Hung out and drank with the family, I still hold the Bloody Mary Championship title. And in case you were wondering my family is full of smart asses and ball busters like me, so come prepared with a thick skin. My brother is dating a crier which is amazing b/c when she cries he just yells at her saying "what are you doing? what am I supposed to do with this?"

Saturday night red eye to Boston my flight has been changed and I now have 2+ hours to kill. See me at the bar drinking large Fat Tires and falling in love with the Alabama fan Brent in Security. Witty football banter, southern charm, beer, beer, beer w/$3 shot sidecar and a mutual fear of commitment I could totally ish this guy!

Sunday is here and I have a nice case of Strep throat. My doctor, Stephen Anderson, with the rat tail from the walk-in the Seattle clinic gave me vicodon and antibiotics for. Hippies in Seattle, if I was feeling myself I would have requested a doctor with a more current haircut. I am pretty sure I have been way over prescribed of both meds but I'll take it.

Today has come and I am no longer contagious.... and the cop keeps texting and DD will be out of town next week... I am so weak

A cop, a produce salesman and a dentist walk into a bar...

.... OK fine I wish I had a punch line for that intro but I find if funny that they are all on my outlook calendar for the next two weeks. So it seems that there are some new ponies trying to get in Bandit stable and I have the make out face to prove it.

I also need to stop going out... hello we are in an economic down turn and me going out 6 nights in a row is foolish. Besides the economy did not get any better with me going out.

I am going to a Bridal Party dinner on Saturday night, you know all couples. Here is the gem, Hurricane's sister is getting married (congrats!) and suggested that since she is single, she bring me has her date. Priceless. I can see it now 4 civilized couples out on the town and team Hurricane/MBandit causing a ruckus at the end of the table. This will be so fun, mostly because I love the couples and they find our antics funny. Give me a cocktail and an audience and let the show begin. Yahtzee!

Double Date with DD

Last night I dragged Songbird with me on a double date with DD and his business partner T. What the hell DD is fun why not. Also, my dearest Songbird has never been 1) on a double date and 2) Never really ever gone out with someone she didn't already know. Pulease, seriously?! I love ya girl but you are missing out on the serious funness that can be dating. Songbird is pumped and ended up having a good time.... see dating strangers is fun. Also she realized that dates with guys just a bit older is nice. Not creepy 40s older but 30ish older makes a big difference than dating someone your own age.

Our date was fun other than the fact that the comedians wanted to crash it. Sorry boys you would have been socially awkward and you know it. So we had a couple of cocktails, a shot and I smoke a menthol cigarette, yuck. You know whats worse than a guy smoking... a guy who smokes menthols. Not to mention that I haven't smoked a menthol since my night club promoter days, when Pav and I would take a bunch of e before work, smoke menthols and suck on blow pops in a zebra mini skirt w/ fuck me boots. Oh the days of drugs and when you could smoke inside... my life makes me laugh

We ended up leaving DDT and met for a beer with the comedians to make nice... how diplomatic

Shonoquilla found a winner, I think

I went on a date with DD and it went well. The restaurant was closing early for Veterans Day (Thank you Veterans!) and we ended up in a divey bar but we weren't ready to call it a night just yet. Super fun good conversation. He is sarcastic, finds me funny, cute, and a bit random. Will see again, possibly this week. Cute double kiss goodnight. Me Likey!

It was nice to feel smiley and optimistic after a date.

Instead of my usual responses

• this is a rebound
• he's nice maybe I should try a second date/ this is the type I should date but have no interest in
• eh
• this guy should have come with a warning label

My glowy post date feeling has really only happened one other time since the cop and I ended things over the summer. wow typing that out loud is kinda sad. And with the "one other time" we never really took advantage of the "we should do this again." Oh well no harm no foul. See blogaritas the good dates are boring...

.... On to the rabbit hole that I'm peering over the edge of. So I sent the cop the customary "Happy Birthday" text that everyone I know gets, friends, Romans, country men, co-workers etc.

And instead of getting the "who's this" I was expecting I got way more than I bargained for. We texted a bit. Basically I have yet to respond to "are u dating anyone?" text.

Do I really want to play all the games again? Could this be different? Is this just a big payback scheme? Who says this texting will go anywhere? Who am I too assume he's single? What is the harm?

What about my good date with DD?

and for the record... yes you all told me so

I am boring w/o bad dates.. more best of the worst from True to come.