Passing the Torch...

I must say that after this weekend I may have to re-think my make out bandit status.... As I was more than shown up, I was schooled, spanked and served all in 48 hours. Now as I begrudgingly pass along my crown of bottle caps and dreams, I can only hope to step it up once again to reclaim my former glory! Also LL, I don't want to hear any bull shit about me maturing or growing up.

Friday, at The Burren, two college kids were having a soft-core porn mug down that lasted well over 10 minutes. Now in the back room at The Burren it is normal to see bandits in their natural habitat, cheap beers, cheesy cover-band and really dark and crowded. The kicker was their dedication to each other, there were dollars being thrown at them, at least 50 photos where a friend jumped in the shot, and a shout out from the band once they resumed their set. Also found a new drunk Chinese food place for when the bar closes, Kee Kar Lau.

Saturday brunch at Soundbites then it is off to the pub crawl at 2.

• Bar 1 Bell and Hand - Donate to Lupus and get dirty name tag (I need 2 Guys) - check
• Teach Hurricane what "hot dog down a hallway means" (it took two analogies and hand motion but she caught on)- Check
• Bar 2 Patty O's at capacity skip
• Bar 3 Hennessy's. See Miller light girls and switch to Miller Light for free shit. Yep very buzzed at 4pm.
• Gear collected was eye black, winter hats, koozies and QB arm bands that we wrote our own plays on. Including "Do not send to jail. Return to Somerville. Reward: Hand Jobs"
• Best Quote before 5pm- "If I had to get fisted, I would want it to be by a midget... think about it" well clearly you have. The dirty name tags are really a great conversation starter.
• 5PM head to the Boston College Tailgate w/ Hurricane, AT stays on the crawl (6 beers down)

At tailgate see all sorts of old friends, luckily most of my friends are early drinkers so it wasn't too obvious, I was on a pub crawl other than the Miller Light gear. Did a power hour in the rain, had jello shots and was too drunk to hit on anyone successfully. I am a very easily distracted drunk. Then the Steves found me...

I have bad luck with Steve's and need to quit them.

• Walking into the game I get a text from Big Steve, who I haven't heard from since I won a bet with, pay up ass
• During the game I find that Unicorn Steve (he was amazing) is looking for me at a bar. Our last two meetings were not good. Once he ran off a guy I was with. Then before that the other he was mad b/c I would hook up with him. YOU LIVE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND OF 4 YEARS! WE HAVEN'T BEEN TOGETHER IN 5. Stop tempting me. I decided not to go, because I would have said yes.
• Then I met another Steve on the way into the game, while stuffing beers and nips down my pants for the game. He was entered in my phone as "Steve Again." Hurricane said at one point during the game he tried to hold my hand and I looked at him and said "This is weird and dropped his hand." Peace out Steve

While Hurricane and I are flirting with each other and a blackout AT is taking the crown of TRIPLE BANDIT. Between the hours of 5 pm and 1am my crown was stolen, by someone who had Miller Light koozie on one hand and a beer in the other! BC wins over ND 17-0.

A New Opinion on Oral Sex

So it is hard to believe that there are new things to say about oral but this one was new to me, so I got permission to share.

I was chatting on the phone with one of my buddies, who we will call LL, about something he heard on the Playboy Channel on XM Radio. There was a call in by a guy named Big Al, obviously, who was complaining that his gf gave him too many blow jobs, he was exhausted and it was ruining his live. Just a bit dramatic, Big Al. So the call goes on and he is getting 15-20 a day, and she want nothing in return. Whats wrong with this girl, get a little....

So now there is the obvious pause where we both think about oral... And we both 1) think Big Al needs to stop bitching and pull down his pants and 2) that giving and receiving oral is amazing 3) What!?

At this point LL reveals a dating quirk that got me thinking. Yes, we all have some odd dating/sex quirk that we thought about once and have stuck to ever since.

Here it is.... keep in mind that he came up with this at the age of 18, a very forward thinker for his age. Once he feels that a girl is serious enough to introduce to his parents and family, he will no longer accept oral from her, but will give it. Now it must be said that the girls he only dated, were just hook-ups, friends with benefits and randoms, had comprehensive bj privileges. LL hates the idea that the mouth that is kissing and greeting his family, was just also used for a bj. He has held to that stance since he was 18.

I never thought about it like that.