False.com

So since my week trial was up at True.com, called to cancel. The operator picked up and asked "how can i help you find love today?" I laughed out loud into the receiver. After telling him I would like to cancel b/c everyone lives so far away. Far away is code for illiterate, non-spell checking, thug life, older midgets who insist on having at least one photo w/o a shirt. He then checked out my profile and says how hot I am and that he can't really believe that I'm single. Thanks operator, thanks. So he gives me two more weeks.

The same day "notonlockdown" has sent me yet another wink. (Pictured) What about my profile says I want to date a recently released from jail, Hispanic gang-banger? Doesn't he know I'm still in my cop phase despite my best efforts.

I have advanced to phone chat with the Wizard Cop who lives in Bedford. I am not sure where that is but the guy is so strange I can't stop talking to him. He plays this grown up nerd game where adults (I assume mostly men) dress up like medieval times and act out things in character for a weekend. I picture it as a Lord of the Rings/King Richards Fair/ Dungeons 'n' Dragons scavenger hunt. I bet there is a huge virgin count in group. Here is the website knightblades.net you are welcome.

His pros include: being a cop, he went to culinary school, has a boat

Also he has pre-written questions to keep the phone conversations moving, here is a sampling.

1. How do you feel about tattoos?


2. Do you drink wine?


3. How would you describe yourself sexually a) reserved b) adventurous c) freak


4. How many serious relationships have you had?


5. What are your "go to" moves to seduce a man?

.... also more comic updates to come.